


a slow dissent into madness

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:01:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21626491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	a slow dissent into madness

3 years have passed and I didn’t change at all. My clothes were the same. My face was the same. My hair was getting pretty long though. But that’s really it. Maybe locking myself into isolation wasn’t a good idea after all. I mean it wasn’t that bad. It really wasn’t. I could sleep whenever I was tired. I could play games all night. I could do anything without worrying about the time. I could do anything without worrying about going to school the next day. I could do anything without worrying about participating in society. Consider it a dull existence but those years were paradise. Sometimes I wish it was different though. I wish I had friends to talk to. I wish I had a girlfriend. Some sort of social connection. Humans are social animals after all. Without anyone to communicate to they become fucking retarded. Their brains melt. They start do strange stuff. Have you heard of those prisoners that are stuck in solitary confinement? They start acting like animals. They start going mad and smearing their shit on the walls. They start screeching. The start pawing their eyes out. Is it really that bad? I mean they probably don’t have any entertainment but still isn’t that kind of an overreaction? Some days ago, I discarded my computer to test this out. I just laid on the ground and stared at the ceiling. I slept most of the time. I lasted for about 4 days until I grew tired of the whole thing. Like it was boring for sure but it didn’t make me crazy. Maybe I just needed more time? Maybe I needed to recreate the whole prison experience by eating shitty food? Maybe I needed to be awake the whole time? Who knows honestly? 

I saw a woman pass my apartment. She looked at me. Then I slammed the door shut. Was I ugly or something? If I was walking past a person I wouldn’t look at them. I would just keep my eyes forward. Like why would you care if a random girl is getting out of her house? I’m not a threat that’s for sure. I’m not going to steal her purse or anything. I don’t get why people have to look at everything. You don’t have to be aware of your surroundings here. This place isn’t Detroit. I would understand it if I was in the slums. Where a bunch of homeless people would piss in the street and harass you for shekels. I just don’t understand people sometimes.

The sound of her high heels were gone after a few seconds. I waited for a few minutes just to be sure of it. 

When I went in the supermarket it was almost empty. The thing is that I only go shop at night. There’s no point in going there at busy hours. Retards have no sense of self awareness after all. They crowd around the aisles. They bump into you. They block your way like some sort of annoying npc. Cashiers make me nervous too. Most of the time they try to start small talk. I always use the self checkout lane for that very reason……..

I woke up. This happens sometimes. I sleep then I wake up all of a sudden. I really don’t mind when it happens. It gets kind of tiresome though. I stand up when this happens. If that doesn’t work I pace around. If that doesn't work I masturbate. If that doesn’t work I take the pills. Then I can sleep..

For breakfast, I just eat a bowl of cereal. I like sweet stuff. It makes me happy I guess. I just never grew out of eating sugary garbage. 

I open the door to go outside again. I want to get better somehow. Exposing myself to this shit daily will get me back to normal again. I hope it does. I really hope it does. I walk along the row of apartments. I walk and walk and walk and walk. When someone passes by me I look straight ahead. I clench my fists in my pockets and keep going. I walk to the park then I walk back home. I keep on doing this until my legs are tir-

A hand is tugging on my jacket. 

**_Hey_ **

It’s that woman. 

**_Did I scare you yesterday?_ **

I can’t seem to speak. I can feel my face getting hot. So I look down at my shoes.

**_Are you alright?_ **

I nod my head and walk away from her. She glances at me and frowns. She follows me.

**_I just want to talk with you for a second, is that okay?_ **

I nod my head.

**_You’re not much of a talker, are you?_ **

I look up to see her staring right at me. Before I can register her features I look away.

**_Y-yes_ **

What the hell was that. I can’t even talk anymore. What the hell was that.

**_You’re really cute_ **

Huh? 

Was this random woman flirting with me? Was this actually happening? What kind of scenario was this? What the fuck is actually happening?

**_T-thanks I guess…_ **

  
  


The woman’s pale hand touches my face. An attractive woman was touching me. My face was getting redder by each passing second. I needed to come up with a response. Anything. I couldn’t bear this any longer.

**_I-i think you’re pretty too_ **

She leaned down to kiss me. 

**_You wanna go somewhere?_ **


End file.
